a frightening race

I love fall! The colors, the perfect running weather, the food!

I have decided I hate Halloween. Halloween has become all about competition and I have not trained at all for the race.

My memories of Halloween as a child are of my mom making my sister and my costumes. At school we would have a Halloween party. We would do no "real" work. Instead we would play games, have a costume parade, and party. Halloween night, my friends and I would go through my neighborhood, their neighborhoods, and any other adjoining neighborhoods that we could prior to the designated time I had to be home trick or treating. I would come home, examine my loot, and collapse into bed in a vain attempt to be refreshed for the next school day.

The only thing that is similar to my Halloween of yesteryear and Halloween today is that my kids wear costumes. (Well, it's not the only thing, but follow along with me)

Halloween starts in my neighborhood on October 1st when the Halloween outdoor decorations appear. My neighbor across the street has a tree decorated with ghosts and web, orange lights on their porch, and pumpkins on their steps along with a hay bale. Upon seeing their Martha Stewart-esque display, my oldest daughter, N, asks me when we are going to put up our Halloween decorations. I answer that we don't have that many Halloween decorations. As I end my sentence, N adds on the end of my thought "and if you put them out, that means that you will have to put them away too." (Yes, I admit that I have become that jaded about holidays. I have often contemplated if anyone would even notice if I didn't put up the Christmas tree. It is Newton's law that what goes up must come down. I would like to add to the end of the adage "and be put away by a mom".)

The costumes are another ordeal. My kids go to a private school. There is no Halloween party, but we do have a Sausage and Kraut dinner fundraiser where there is a costume parade and a COSTUME CONTEST. The thrill of having the designation of best costume is enough to drive me and others to extremes. The first two years, I sewed beautiful costumes for my children. R, my oldest son was Obi Wan Kenobi, N was Jasmine, and V, my youngest daughter, was Snow White. I went as a woman in a shower complete with duck, shower cap, curtain, and scrubbie. No prizes were won. The next year, I broke down and bought R a storm trooper costume (he REALLY wanted it and I could not see how to make it), N was Ariel the mermaid with hand drawn scales, and V was a golden winter princess. Jaded from the year before, I did not dress up. Again, no prizes. This year, I have thrown in the towel. My sewing machine is broken due to my youngest, informally known as Captain Destruction, and in order to save some money for household expenses (also caused by Captain Destruction), I mandated that we would wear costumes that we already have for dress up clothes that have not been worn EVER to a parade let alone to trick or treat. The oldest two have accepted the mandate and are creatively solving the problem. V melts into a pile of child and sobs, SOBS about costumes. This is still unresolved.

My problems with costume competition is only the crust of my bitterness. Trick or treating is the filling to my bitter pie. Where we live .......

WE DON'T TRICK OR TREAT ON HALLOWEEN!

What you say? That is absurd! I think so too.

The first year we moved here we missed trick or treating altogether. Trick or treating is always the Sunday before Halloween from 3 to 6 in the evening. There is no dark. There is no sense of getting away with something because you are out on a school night.

(This year Halloween is on a Friday night. Why can't they trick or treat on a Friday night? I cannot wait until next year when Halloween is on a Saturday and see what they do or the year after when it actually falls on a Sunday. Will we trick or treat on the Sunday before the Sunday that is Halloween? Remind me and I will let you know.)

In addition to the day of trick or treating, I have issue with parent involvement in trick or treating. When our family trick or treats, Mr. Spie loads up the wagon with the little ones and the whole costumed clan WALKS around our neighborhood, visiting neighbors and collecting goodies. They are not out the whole time. Generally, he makes the kids walk for most of the time. It is not a "free candy bus tour" through the neighborhood. Oh yes, we do have "free candy bus tours" through my neighborhood.

We live on the "outskirts" of a very affluent neighborhood. My neighborhood is known for full size candy bars, Jone's Soda, and Oriental Trading Company crafts. As a result of this reputation, parents from other neighborhoods, even adjoining cities, drive their children and others in vans, pickup trucks, SUVs to our neighborhood for trick or treating. These children, however, do not walk from house to house. Instead, they ride from driveway to driveway in the back of the truck. Trick or treaters (mostly middle school- aged and up) jump out of the vehicle and run to the door while the engine is idling. They collect their loot, jump on the back of the truck again to drive the 10 feet to the next driveway.

The reputation of our level of loot has also cause me to question my treat choices from year to year. Dum Dums? Your house will be labeled DUMB. Those peanut butter kisses? The KISS OF DEATH! One year, my neighbors (not the ones with the ghost tree but other neighbors) were giving away Pez dispensers. Not just the candy, but candy and the dispenser. My candy choices have varied from year to year. My choices are primarily based on what candy I am less likely to consume. One year, frustrated by all of the high school kids that were trick or treating at my house, I gave away Clifford and Bob the Builder fruit snacks, a favorite of little ones which trick or treating is really for anyway. You would think I was giving away gold. I am already contemplating what candy I am going to give away this year. I am actually thinking about what my kids have received in the past years so I do not seem out of place in my neighborhood. As I think these thoughts, I take a step back and realize that I already am competing with the house decorations, the costumes, and now the CANDY?

I have decided that I am going to contact the Halloween race directors. I don't think that I am physically able to compete this year as I have not trained properly and am injured (well, at least my sewing machine is). Maybe they will take pity on me and grant me a medical waiver/roll over. Then I will have a whole year to gear up and train for next year's competition.