throwing me a S-curve ball

As you loyal readers know I have been fighting a running injury for several months now.

It, literally, is a pain in my butt.

It “reared” its ugly head sometime in June and has been my constant running companion ever since.

It is not good company.

At its worst, it would linger on days that I did not run and cause me discomfort in my everyday tasks such as driving, climbing stairs, and standing still. On its good days, I would feel pain and tightness when I ran, especially speed work and hills, but would not be felt at any other time.

When the bad times started to exceed the good and it became my “off” season, I finally decided that enough was enough and medical attention was sought.

I contacted a physical therapist with the hopes that a little time off, stretching, and therapy would heal all my woes.

Progress was slow at first as I am not a very patient person. I stopped running for an agonizing 6 weeks in hopes that time off and attention would heal my wounds. I did all of the stretches assigned and the exercises requested. I was more diligent about my recovery than dressing my children in clean clothes for school. I was sure this prescription work and I could pick up right where I left off.

Soon the 2010 season was upon me and training needed to start, so I began to run once again. The pain showed up to run with me the first time I laced up my trainers after my “healing hiatus”. As I was still in physical therapy some new hip and buttock exercises were added with the speculation that those parts were weak. (Personally, I wondered how I could have weak hips. I birthed four children)

A few weeks later, physical therapy and I broke up. I was not seeing progress and the time commitment was too much (in addition to the copays). The physical therapist said that the major inflammation was gone, but I would probably always have some pain when I run.

I could not accept that.

I gave it a month of running to see if it would improve. It did, but the pain still lingered, and the thought that it could possibly get worse was always droning in my mind while I ran.

So, I decided that I needed to try another method of healing.

Maybe it was skeletal rather than muscular?

After talked to several people and getting several recommendations, I made an appointment with a chiropractor.

My initial visit was a discussion of my symptoms, lifestyle questions, expectations, and purpose of my visit. Next there were several tests performed including nerve conductivity, examination of my feet and stance, and finally a full set of spinal x-rays. The results of all of these tests were to be discussed at my next appointment.

I came to that appointment looking forward to finding answers to why I hurt when I run. I also was a little apprehensive as I might find out why I hurt when I run.

Good or bad, I was ready.

What I got was a curve ball I didn’t expect.

First, the chiropractor put up the x-ray of my skull and neck and a control x-ray next to it. She asked if noticed any differences between the two. Immediately, I answered that I jut my head out from my shoulders. When I was in therapy for my swimmers slump, I was doing exercises to bring it back into alignment. (Man, I am really falling apart this year!) She indicated that I have lost the curve in my neck and without that curve, the weight of the head increases three times. With the proper curve the head only weighs 10 to 15 pounds to carry around, without the curve 30 to 45 pounds. (Wow! that must explain why I always feel the weight of the world is on my shoulders.)

Next, she started putting up the full x-ray of my spine and without her even saying a word, I stared at the lighted x-rays and exclaimed. “I have scoliosis!”

(My sister has scoliosis and as a child I was screened multiple times, by various doctors and specialists. My right hip has always been higher than my left and it was just speculated that I had one leg slightly longer than the other.)

There it was lit up clear as day – “mild” S curve. The first kink was right below the shoulder blades. The second kink is one or two vertebrae right above the tail bone. Those kinks correspond exactly with where my muscular problems have been – my right shoulder and my right hip.

My first question for the chiropractor was since I have been like this all my life, why am hurting now? Then, my mind raced immediately to my two girls and now the fact that I need to be extra vigilant about their screening for scoliosis, almost to the point that I want to them to get x-rays as adolescents.

Now that I have had time to process it, I have more that I need to ask:

Does this explain my pain in my shoulder and upper back that I always have?
How will treatment relieve this symptoms if there is always going to be muscular pressure?
Which people (obviously my doctor and pediatrician) is it important to disclose this information?
Will it get worse and cause problems for me in the future?

I also have some questions that I would love to ask by probably will not. Most pressing on my mind –

How much taller would I be if my spine was straight?

Poking Teams

So…. I have recently become involved with Facebook.

At first, I came to the relationship kicking and screaming. I usually am a here and now kind of girl. (Mr. Spie is rolling his eyes right now and saying “I wish”).

Meaning, that in the world there are a lot people that would give anything go back and relive high school, college, their 20s, etc.

Me?

I like where I am right now and will like where I will be in the future. Maybe this will change when I am 80, but right now this is the philosophy I subscribe to.

This philosophy really has messed with my head as I venture into the Facebook world.

My current friends, I connect with every day. They really don’t need some pithy status update to know where I am at mentally. In fact, at any point of the given day most of them will accurately be able to guess where I am at physically as well. I live my life a little like an open book.

Past friends, this is where I become a little muddled. I have friends that range back to middle school that I keep in contact with. I have a friend from grade school in which I get occasional updates. We are “Christmas Card” friends. Previous to my Facebook, I rarely have even given a second thought to friends from high school. My feeling was if the relationship was important to each of us, I would still be in contact with them.

But….

I have recently befriended a “Christmas Card” friend and when I was scoping out her friends, there was the high school “gang” sprinkled throughout.

Curiosity, my friends can be a dangerous thing.

For weeks, I have been looking at her list debating whether or not I should contact one of the “gang”.

I even added my maiden name and changed my profile picture to include my face to increase my recognizability. (I was previously just my torso and legs running – I extremely dislike myself in photos). These things were done in conjunction with my Facebook experiment of posting a positive or humorous thought a day to combat some of the negativity that I was seeing in the Facebook world! (….which is another topic for another day. I mean seriously can everyone’s lives be that bad each and every day?)

These changes and actual posting were done to see if any of “Christmas Card's” friends would contact me. It unfortunately did not work.

So…

I am left to figure out why I want to have contact with my former friends?
Narcissism?

What is my intention for the relationship if contact is made?
Validation?

Tired of the self analysis, I nervously chose someone today and I wrote them. I didn’t friend request.

Out of my realm of comfort?

Yes!

This has transported me back to high school and I am currently awaiting someone to pick me for their team for dodge ball.

Am I going to get picked or left holding the ball?

The only thing I can do is wait, see, and be ready to play.

keeping it in line

During the busyness of the holidays and my previous “working” life, I got a little sloppy.

There were so many “must dos” that had to be done that there was little to no time to tackle the “should dos”. The “shoulds” were put on a shelf in plain view. A reminder of things I needed to do (and to be blatantly honest, some of the “musts” were put on there too). I would often come home at the end of the day and look up at the “shoulds” up on the shelf and have little or no desire to tackle them.

One of these “shoulds” was to return the call to my long time friend. She and I have been friends from the 6th grade. Together, we fought our way through Middle School, survived High School, and celebrated College. We were there for first apartments, first boyfriends, weddings, children, and life. When I moved up to the snowy tundra of Wisconsin, it moved our relationship into the long distance category, but we still made it work.

My friend called during Christmas break and as I was struggling to keep my head above water, I just couldn’t find the right time to call her and catch up. I would think of this “should” often as I looked at the phone and then went through all of the other things that I “must” do – and the “musts” always would win. I kept telling myself that I would get to it and planned that once my employment had ended, I would make the time to call her back.

She, however, beat me to the punch by leaving me this message on my machine last week.

Hi Spie. It’s friend. I just returned home from an 8 day hospital stay. Call me when you get a chance.

Needless to say, whatever “must” I planned do to at that moment (which was feed my children lunch) was put on hold as I immediately returned her phone call. (Fortunately for my hungry children, Mr. Spie was home for lunch too and fed the ravenous brood)

My friend, it turns out, was life threatening ill. Those 8 days? More than half were spent in ICU.

Guilt has quite a hearty punch.

Thankfully, she is fine now. Recovering at home and counting her blessings.

Me? I am making a conscious effort to remember to keep mine where they belong….. at the forefront of the line.