So…. I have recently become involved with Facebook.
At first, I came to the relationship kicking and screaming. I usually am a here and now kind of girl. (Mr. Spie is rolling his eyes right now and saying “I wish”).
Meaning, that in the world there are a lot people that would give anything go back and relive high school, college, their 20s, etc.
Me?
I like where I am right now and will like where I will be in the future. Maybe this will change when I am 80, but right now this is the philosophy I subscribe to.
This philosophy really has messed with my head as I venture into the Facebook world.
My current friends, I connect with every day. They really don’t need some pithy status update to know where I am at mentally. In fact, at any point of the given day most of them will accurately be able to guess where I am at physically as well. I live my life a little like an open book.
Past friends, this is where I become a little muddled. I have friends that range back to middle school that I keep in contact with. I have a friend from grade school in which I get occasional updates. We are “Christmas Card” friends. Previous to my Facebook, I rarely have even given a second thought to friends from high school. My feeling was if the relationship was important to each of us, I would still be in contact with them.
But….
I have recently befriended a “Christmas Card” friend and when I was scoping out her friends, there was the high school “gang” sprinkled throughout.
Curiosity, my friends can be a dangerous thing.
For weeks, I have been looking at her list debating whether or not I should contact one of the “gang”.
I even added my maiden name and changed my profile picture to include my face to increase my recognizability. (I was previously just my torso and legs running – I extremely dislike myself in photos). These things were done in conjunction with my Facebook experiment of posting a positive or humorous thought a day to combat some of the negativity that I was seeing in the Facebook world! (….which is another topic for another day. I mean seriously can everyone’s lives be that bad each and every day?)
These changes and actual posting were done to see if any of “Christmas Card's” friends would contact me. It unfortunately did not work.
So…
I am left to figure out why I want to have contact with my former friends?
Narcissism?
What is my intention for the relationship if contact is made?
Validation?
Tired of the self analysis, I nervously chose someone today and I wrote them. I didn’t friend request.
Out of my realm of comfort?
At first, I came to the relationship kicking and screaming. I usually am a here and now kind of girl. (Mr. Spie is rolling his eyes right now and saying “I wish”).
Meaning, that in the world there are a lot people that would give anything go back and relive high school, college, their 20s, etc.
Me?
I like where I am right now and will like where I will be in the future. Maybe this will change when I am 80, but right now this is the philosophy I subscribe to.
This philosophy really has messed with my head as I venture into the Facebook world.
My current friends, I connect with every day. They really don’t need some pithy status update to know where I am at mentally. In fact, at any point of the given day most of them will accurately be able to guess where I am at physically as well. I live my life a little like an open book.
Past friends, this is where I become a little muddled. I have friends that range back to middle school that I keep in contact with. I have a friend from grade school in which I get occasional updates. We are “Christmas Card” friends. Previous to my Facebook, I rarely have even given a second thought to friends from high school. My feeling was if the relationship was important to each of us, I would still be in contact with them.
But….
I have recently befriended a “Christmas Card” friend and when I was scoping out her friends, there was the high school “gang” sprinkled throughout.
Curiosity, my friends can be a dangerous thing.
For weeks, I have been looking at her list debating whether or not I should contact one of the “gang”.
I even added my maiden name and changed my profile picture to include my face to increase my recognizability. (I was previously just my torso and legs running – I extremely dislike myself in photos). These things were done in conjunction with my Facebook experiment of posting a positive or humorous thought a day to combat some of the negativity that I was seeing in the Facebook world! (….which is another topic for another day. I mean seriously can everyone’s lives be that bad each and every day?)
These changes and actual posting were done to see if any of “Christmas Card's” friends would contact me. It unfortunately did not work.
So…
I am left to figure out why I want to have contact with my former friends?
Narcissism?
What is my intention for the relationship if contact is made?
Validation?
Tired of the self analysis, I nervously chose someone today and I wrote them. I didn’t friend request.
Out of my realm of comfort?
Yes!
This has transported me back to high school and I am currently awaiting someone to pick me for their team for dodge ball.
Am I going to get picked or left holding the ball?
This has transported me back to high school and I am currently awaiting someone to pick me for their team for dodge ball.
Am I going to get picked or left holding the ball?
The only thing I can do is wait, see, and be ready to play.
No comments:
Post a Comment